NORTHERN EXPOSURE
If you’re looking for malfunctioning slots, do it in Canada
By Frank Legato
I’m moving to British Columbia. At least until I hit a slot machine jackpot.
Let me explain. You know how all the machines in this country say “Malfunction Voids All Play?” The casinos in the U.S. sure know it, because just about any time there has been a machine error that resulted in a false jackpot display, casinos have refused to pay. Even the ones that did pay did it only after bad press, lawsuits or worse.
The casinos have always won cases in court where the machine displayed a jackpot higher than any win in the machine’s program. But I just read about a case in British Columbia where the progressive meter on a machine told a woman she won almost $100,000, on a machine with a top prize of $1,000. As a “customer service gesture,” the British Columbia Lottery Corporation paid the lady the$100,000, saying it will be recovered from the slot machine’s manufacturer.
Wow, are they nice guys in Canada, or what, eh?
A hundred grand for the sake of customer service. That’s where I want to go. I’ll bet they tuck each hotel guest into bed every night, with hot chocolate.
Just imagine:
“Excuse me, but I believe I just hit a million-dollar jackpot.”
“But sir, this slot machine’s top jackpot is $300, and you don’t even have a winning combination. And this shows you didn’t even make a wager in the first place.”
“I know, but $1 million is what I should have won, and it would make me happy.”
“Alright, sir. We’ll pay you the million, and get it back from the slot company. It’s their fault they didn’t make the top jackpot on this machine $1 million, that your machine didn’t hit it, and that you didn’t make a bet.”
OK, maybe they won’t be that friendly, but I can still go to Canada on a search for malfunctioning slot machines. And I won’t even need a casino-hotel if I go to British Columbia to look for broken slots. BC Ferries is considering putting slot machines on some of their vessels, starting with a pilot project on sailings between Swartz Bay and Tsawwassen.
Hey, I’m sure at some point, I’m going to need to get from Swartz Bay to Tsawwassen. If I move, it’s a good bet my orthodontist will be in Tsawwassen.
And while I’m looking for broken slot machines in Canada, I’ll have one major personal advantage: Lots of hockey to watch. (Vancouver Canucks, anyone?) Oh, and universal healthcare, for when I put my fist through a machine.
The British Columbia incident was not the first time malfunctioning slots have made the news in Canada. In Toronto in 2009, 55-year-old Pawel Kusznirewicz was told by a slot machine that he had just won $42.9 million. The casino officials told him the machine had malfunctioned, and refused to pay him. OK, I guess they do have their limits.
But what was interesting about that case was what the casino did offer him as a “customer service gesture:” two free buffets. When he balked, they doubled the offer. That’s right, kids: four free buffet dinners! That should cover $43 million, right?
Can you believe that Mr. Kusznirewicz -man, I love that name—actually turned down the buffets? He actually sued the casino for the$43 million, plus another $3 million in damages. No word on what became of that case, but the top jackpot on the slot machine in question was $9,000. I hope he at least got that much. And the buffets, for that matter.
That case was the exception, though, on what the Canadian casinos will put up with when it comes to malfunctioning slots. You may recall that a couple of years ago, I wrote in this space about a machine that went on the fritz in Saskatchewan. A slot machine in Moose Jaw—home of “Mac the Moose”—repeatedly registered $216 in credits for $50 bills, causing one couple to bilk the casino for nearly $29,000.
You may recall that the players used their club cards as they registered the illegal credits, a gaffe that alerted the casino to their identities, and caused many observers to refer to them as “hosers.” (Evidently, they wanted a free buffet too.)
No worries, though. They got to keep the money, too. Now that I know the limits of what they’ll do in Canada, I know to look for machine malfunctions under six figures.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a northbound flight.
“O Canada! Our home and native land…”
